Parable of the thirsty man

A reading from the Holy Gospel according to HellCat:

And so it is that Jesus was preaching in the mount of olives when a man came up to him and asked him a question. "Rabbi", asketh the man, "why is there suffering in this world? And why does God not help those in dire need of his succor?"

And Jesus, saith:

God is like a wealthy salesman travelling in the desert who came uponeth a thirsty man. And the thirsty man pleadeth with him, "Give me water, that I may not die upon this terrible land and give myself home to my wife and children." But God replyth, "Lo, but I have no water with me, but I do have this tie that I can sell thee for the shoes upon thy feet!" And the thirsty man replied, "My lord, I have nothing else to travel with but this shoes. Without these shoes I will not be able to set foot upon the hot sands of this land and verily the vultures shall partake of my flesh before the sun sets! Surely thou asketh for too much!" And the Lord replied, "A pair of these ties for thy pair of shoes then. For these ties are magic and with it thy needs shall be replenished!"

But the thirsty man, because he is dying of thirst, became stubborn in his head. He refuseth to believe the lord and is without faith. He said, "I shall defy thee then, for thy ties are useless and are frivolous in this land. I shall turn my face away from thee for thou giveth nothing but ties while I have need of water to quench my thirst." And the Lord Salesman shooketh his head and weepeth, for the Lord always weepeth when a stubborn man turns away from God.

"My son, I have offered thee these wonderful pair of silk ties that thou mayst survive in thy travels. All I ask for in return is thy faith and yonder pair of old shoes." And the lord then continued in his travel, weeping and heavy in his heart, as he cannot help the dying man for the dying man has become stubborn and evil reigns upon his spirit.

So the thirsty man continued to travel away from the Lord and after a few days, crawling in the desert, with cracked lips and burned skin, spied upon an inn in the distance. With his remaining strength the man reached the door of the inn and, near death, pleadeth with the owner, "Please,... give .... me ... water! ..." But the owner looked upon the dying man and replied, "But sir, thou mayest not be given water, for this inn is exclusive and clients need be wearing ties!"

And the man died because he is without a tie and may not enter the premises of the inn.

And the Lord Jesus then sayeth, "And that is why there is suffering, for God the father has need to test thy faith and besides that, He also loves a good joke."